As we discuss Change this month, I can’t help but think of how much in my life has changed since starting this project! In the last year I’ve officially released the below 9 songs with Raw Emotions (and many more on here - The Vault). Pushing myself to make music that is raw, real and represent me on a deep level has changed me. It has helped me trust myself in ways I never have, brought out lyrics I would never have had the courage to write and sing and has pushed productions to places I love in ways I didn’t know I could love music.
Happiness. I thought a lot about what song to share that's connected to Happiness. This song ALWAYS makes me feel good. It's not about the content, or the words really, it's just about the vibe. Play it loud, it works best that way :)
I wrote Brooklyn In The Summer after 4 days in the desert with friends developing my creative practice that I call “The Dig.” Digs are 10 min vocal and lyric improvisations designed to bring up subconscious ideas and emotions that I don’t want to face, but are the most important to deal with. I had a session with my friend Jake Scott and After we did a couple digs and came back from a walk I sat down at a Piano and Brooklyn just came out. Jake walked in the room as the chorus started to form and we finished it together in about 30 minutes. It was magic. Here is the original demo from that day :)
So, with this month's emotional focus being on breath, I wanted to share a new song called July. This song for me is about waking up in the morning on your birthday, taking your first breath and realizing how different things are. It's hard to accept change, but breathing helps. This is a rough demo of just a vocal and piano but I'll finish her up at some point :)
“Fucked Up Crazy” comes out during the month where I’m exploring Loneliness in my Raw Emotions project. At its core the song is really about caving in to being with someone you know is probably going to completely tear you apart, but you do everything you can to justify in order to not feel lonely. The song itself is wrapped up in a love story where it feels like I’m convince that this person and I are perfect for each other, and that being together might be perfect since we are both “f***ed up”. The truth is it’s really just the powers of a very manipulative and brilliantly tricky dark side of my mind. In this song I really just don’t want to be alone and as vulnerable and “taboo” as that is to say, I thought it’d be really important to explore this part of my life that scares the shit out of me.
Here's the voice note from the original idea of the song and the final song.
Montreal. I wrote this song last year remembering a trip to Montreal. Not one of the easiest ones to write, but I love it. It captures loneliness in a beautifully tragic way, an honest way. This is just a demo but it’ll find it’s way home someday soon.
In 2015 I wrote a song and directed a video called "My Own Way" that featured some of the bravest and most powerful people I've ever met. The goal was to inspire people to speak loudly not only about mental health, but about their loves, passions and bold embrace of themselves. We created this in support of the brilliant organization Love is Louder and the JED Foundation to send this message out into the world. There are so many people to thank that made this video possible but most importantly I have to thank the people who have shared their stories - Ilma Gore, Michael Gerber, Afia Fields, Jeanette Nitao, Alix Angelis, Kris Angelis, Dana Harris & Jeff Everett.
Full documentary and music video below. Let me know you it made you feel in the comments!
Today’s “Raw Emotions Vault” release is an unreleased demo I wrote called “American Psycho”. This is a really important song for me and explores the experiences I’ve had when I’ve felt embarrassed and afraid of my depression. This song is a reminder for me to be bold, transparent and honest in the words and music I write.
Listen and comment below to let me know what you think of the song.
Here's my April "Exclusive Vault Release" - it's a throwback called "Simple As That". I took this off itunes as my sound was changing and looking back I feel like deserve it's place in the world. Welcome back "Simple As That".
In 2013 I started the project that would become Raw Emotions. I had no idea what I was doing, who I wanted to be, what I wanted to say or what I wanted to sound like. I dove in headfirst with my friend Jason and we produced a full album called "More Than We Think." Looking back I'm really proud of this album. At the time I was still searching and I ended up pulling it from the internet. Today, in the month of nostalgia, I put it back. So here is More Than We Think, almost a year of my life in 10 songs :) Let me know what you think.