So... A couple years ago I edited a video to an unreleased song called "Just An Animal" where we sourced unseen footage of bears from Maine. I then edited these videos to have the bears dancing to the song. It's genuinely one of the most ridiculous things I've ever done haha. I only got to the 3 min mark after we decided the video was a little too out there. Looking back I should've just put it out. So... hear it is for you. Enjoy :) Happy nostalgia month.
Exclusive Vault Release: "Wondering If" Demo 6.28.2012 2AM
This months emotion is Nostalgia. I've decided to start looking back at old songs or demos I never released and track the evolution of Raw Emotions. This is one of the first songs that I wrote when I started exploring a solo career 6 years ago. I was OBSESSED with this song the day I wrote it and couldn't help but record a demo of it at 2am in the bathroom while everyone was sleeping. You can literally hear me pressing the space bar in the recording cause the microphone was cranked up so loud to capture me singing insanely quietly. The lyrics are a bit cryptic in this one and at this point in my life I interpret them to simply be about accepting who you are and trusting that other people will love you for being nothing more than that. To me that's scary as fuck and honestly I'm still working on it 6 years later.
V1:
I've been holdin on so long
It's easy to forget, it's easy to forget that I can let it go
And I've been a strong man
But even a strong man, even a strong man
Only has two hands
Chorus:
and I'm wondering if
and I'm wondering if
V2:
When I look into a mirror
I see a younger man, I see a younger man
That used to be me
And if I leave it all behind, will you take me in your arms?
And if I can't let it go, will you leave me all alone
Chorus:
and I'm wondering if
and I'm wondering if
Bridge:
And with the weight of all my sins upon me
Demons at the door that haunt me
If I gave all will you still want me
And take me as I am
And with the weight of all my sins upon me
Demons at the door that haunt me
If I gave all will you still want me
And take me as I am
With the burden of my hands
Chorus:
and I'm wonderin if
and I'm wonderin if
Exclusive Vault Release: Uncomfortable (Demo)
A few weeks ago I performed a live "dig" on instagram where I improvised lyrics and melodies inspired by the emotion of the month, "Uncomfortable". I ended up using pieces of that "live dig" to create a song called "Uncomfortable" with a new friend and producer named Eff3X. The recording is a rough demo and in no shape to be shared with the world from a "professional" point of view, but I think you deserve to hear it and I personally love it :)
Exclusive Vault Release: Wade
I'm really excited to share this release with you guys. This is a song from an album I've been calling "The lost 2015" sessions." I actually played this song at a solo show in Los Angeles the night I met my now close friend and collaborator, Billy Van. Billy then went on to produce this entire album that I'll be sharing with you through the Raw Emotions Vault. Wade is about acceptance, loss and that feeling after you’ve cried, or screamed or broken down... when time slows... and everything finally feels peaceful. This is a good one to listen to with your eyes closed.
Erase You demos
"Erase you" is by far one of the most personal songs I've ever written. In the verses I talk about getting home from LA back to NYC. Here is the demo of the song from the night I wrote it on my synthesizer at home the morning after getting back from LA. I ended up re-writing the chorus with my friend, producer Jordan Palmer, in June. Then, on a freezing cold night in December coming back from a H.E.R. concert I wrote what is now the final chorus of "Erase You". Check out these demos and let me know what you think.
Now listen to the final version! Artwork by Cortney Armitage.
Regret - Cortney Armitage Photo session
Here are some outtakes from the third emotion photo shoot with Cortney Armitage. The concept for these photos represented regret in a vulnerable way. We wanted to capture the idea of cleansing yourself of something you regret doing. A moment where you are truly alone with your thoughts. The final product ended up nailing the vision and I have to credit that to Cortney because this was fairly dificult for me to take seriously.
Exclusive Vault Release: Wasted Days
I've decided to start releasing music and additional collaborative art through the Raw Emotions Vault. There are songs that I love and mean so much, but haven't quite found a home, or haven't been produced yet but were written during the month of a specific emotion. The same is true for photos, videos, essays, animation treatments, designs that never get to see the light of day but have so much character. Creating and sharing is the core of the Raw Emotions project, the vault is allowing me to take that even further. It's imperative to me that EVERYTHING is heard, felt and seen during this Raw Emotions project. The vault is a safe space for art to be shared every week, and sometimes even more often than that.
This first Vault only release is called Wasted Days. I wrote it with one of my best friends, Caroline Pennell, and always regretted never putting it out. Figured it was only right I revisited that regret this month and finally let it out into the Raw Emotions world.
Back Where You Belong demo
Here's the original piano demo of Back Where You Belong. I decided to release this song for Hopeful this month because I felt that it accurately represented the hope you can have about coming back to someone you love in a relationship. This song has helped teach me that being hopeful is brave. I used to think it was a cop out to hope, but I realized that in order to hope for something, you have to accept the fact that it might now happen. I think there is true courage in having hope.
Fun fact: This song was the inspiration for the flowers behind the back photo I put in the last post.
Here's the final released version!
Hopeful - Cortney Armitage Photo session
These are images from mine and Cortney's second emotion photo creative collaboration. For this month's emotion (hopeful), we wanted to be up for the sunrise - representing new beginnings, fresh starts and hope for a great day ahead. For the location, Coney Island seemed like a natural choice. (NYC is a huge inspiration to my work and I wanted to make sure to feature areas of the city in my work.) The goal was to capture contemplative moments while looking out into the water and horizon. I think we did a good job accomplishing it.
We also tried this concept of an image with dying flowers behind my back to represent holding out hope for someone you love. We felt the other images were more striking and in-line with the messaging we wanted and decided to keep the others for the Vault only!
Space Left Between demo
Here's the demo for Space Left Between. We ended up re-recording the guitar and vocal for this song 3 times and every time it just didn't feel right. In the end we used this exact vocal and guitar as a core of the final track. It is the only song of the first Raw Emotions EP with parts not recording in NYC.
Here's the final version :) The photo was done by Cortney Armitage.